Winkel's World

For the first time in my life, I feel confident enough in my body to wear a bikini. As the weather gets warmer, I get more and more antsy for summer to begin! I even had a cute little bikini picked out for a California trip with my girls! I’ve never owned a bikini, but what better time to start than as a confident young adult?

A few days ago, my friend and I were talking about how much we thought we knew each other. His answer was very sweet. He told me that it was easy to tell what kind of a person I was from our first encounter. He continued to include a few examples, one being, “I could tell that you’re the kind of girl that wears modest swimsuits to the pool.” Oh crap…..I had always been the girl in the one piece…Why was I suddenly wanting to change that? I realized that it’s possible to be confident with your body without flaunting it to the world. True confidence isn't dependent on the approval of others. I felt like a complete idiot for even THINKING about going in public in a bikini.

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I have always been taught to dress modestly. The For Strength Of Youth pamphlet says, concerning modesty:

Your body is God’s sacred creation. Respect it as a gift from God, and do not defile it in any way. Through your dress and appearance, you can show the Lord that you know how precious your body is. You can show that you are a disciple of Jesus Christ.

Prophets of God have always counseled His children to dress modestly. The way you dress is a reflection of what you are on the inside. Your dress and grooming send messages about you to others and influence the way you and others act. When you are well groomed and modestly dressed, you invite the companionship of the Spirit and can exercise a good influence on those around you.

Never lower your dress standards for any occasion. Doing so sends the message that you are using your body to get attention and approval and that modesty is important only when it is convenient.

Ask yourself, “Would I feel comfortable with my appearance if I were in the Lord’s presence?”

Was a really willing to flush my morals down the toilet for no other reason than to “show off” my new body and avoid awkward one-piece tan lines?

I’m aware that many people do not believe the same things that I believe, so I did some research on the science and history of bikinis as well.

www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com (An awesome website, by the way) summarized an interesting study done by Princeton University as follows:

Finding #1: Bikinis = Object Mentality

Brain scans revealed that when men are shown pictures of scantily clad women, the region of the brain associated with tools (such as screwdrivers, hammers, etc.) lit up. When reporting this specific result, analysts at National Geographic concluded that bikinis really do inspire men to see women as objects, as something to be used rather than someone to connect with. A good question to consider as you think about this finding is when it comes to your relationships with boys, do you want to be used or do you want to be known? Of course you picked option B ... so you'd better keep reading.

Finding #2: Bikini ≠ Empathy

Some of the men showed zero brain activity in the medial prefrontal cortex, which is that part of the brain that lights up when a person ponders another person's thoughts, intentions, and feelings. Researchers called this particular finding "shocking" because they almost never see this specific section of the brain shut down in this way.

This means that these men see women "as sexually inviting, but they are not thinking about their minds," said Susan Fiske a psychologist at Princeton University. "The lack of activation in this social cognition area is really odd, because it hardly ever happens."

In other words, seeing a woman dressed immodestly creates a very rare reaction in the male brain by actually shutting a part of it down. But it is the part of the brain that we want to see functioning—that part that allows the men around us to think about our thoughts and feelings. It's the exact part of the brain that makes a guy want to know us!

Finding #3: A Bikini Changes Who's In Control

In a separate Princeton study, when men viewed images of women in bikinis they often associated with first person action verbs including "I push, I grab." But when they saw images of women dressed modestly, they associated them with third-person action verbs such as "she pushes, she grabs."

In other words, for the women in bikinis the men desired control. When the women were modestly dressed, the men associated the woman with being in control.

-Erin Davis 2012

This video does a great job at briefly describing the findings above…it’s worth 4 minutes of your day!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtzIcz7MOkc

The speaker also touches on the history of the bikini, which I found to be really interesting. When Louis Reard invented the bikini in 1946, he had a hard time finding a model to agree to wear the skimpy suit. He finally had to ask a stripper (Michele Bernardini) to model the suit because she was comfortable with wearing it. When the bikini was introduced to the United States, sales were painfully slow. The bikini was even outlawed in several cities. One writer described it as a "two-piece bathing suit which reveals everything about a girl except for her mother's maiden name." Modern Girl Magazine was quoted in 1957 as saying, "it is hardly necessary to waste words over the so-called bikini since it is inconceivable that any girl with tact and decency would ever wear such a thing"

And let’s not forget about the Gestalt Theory…

The Gestalt Theory is typically used in graphic design. The idea is that the human mind is capable of completing lines that it cannot see. Completing the incomplete is an entertaining activity to the brain. When a man sees a woman dressed in a little bikini (or and type of immodest clothing), the first thing his mind does is complete the lines he sees. Chances are, if you’re walking around in a bikini, many of the men who look at you will picture you naked. It’s not their fault, it’s just how their minds work. It’s visual science.

Dannah Gresh touches more on this theory in her book, The Secret Keeper, which is all about modest dress.

“Modesty is the source of this delicate yet formidable power, making it a power in and of itself. It’s delicate because it can be so innocently given away without your even knowing it. It’s formidable-or difficult to deal with or control-because once you’ve mastered it, no man will be given access to the full secrets behind your allure until you so desire.” –Dannah Gresh, Secret Keeper

Gestalt Theory:

I can’t believe I wanted to wear a 28 inch article of “clothing” that:

a.Makes me an OBJECT to men and essentially, dehumanizes me

b.Resembled outfits that PROSTITUTES wear

c.Provides no more coverage than my UNDERWEAR

d.Was once OUTLAWED in many U.S. cities because it’s so scandalous

e.DESTROYS the respect I get from others

f.FUELS inappropriate thoughts

g.I would CRINGE to see my future daughters wear

h.Initially, a STRIPPER had to model because everyone else refused

i.DISHONORS and DISRESPECTS my Heavenly Father

WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!

I immediately started looking for a more modest swimsuit. The hardest part about dressing modestly is finding clothes that won’t make you look like you just raided your grandma’s closet. When you think of conservative swimwear, I’m pretty sure most of us think of something like this…

But I promise that it’s not that hard to find something cute AND modest to wear! It’s worth the small sacrifice to dress modestly. I figured that it might be helpful to have several links all in the same place, so I did my research and found over 100 modest swimsuits that are ADORABLE! I organized them into two lists…the first one is the list of suits UNDER $100, and the second list is of swimsuits over $100. As of today (3/17/2014) all of the links work, so hopefully none of them give you grief. ENJOY!

Under $100

http://www.modcloth.com/shop/onepiece-swimwear/beach-blanket-bingo-one-piece-in-soft-black

http://www.modcloth.com/shop/onepiece-swimwear/beach-blanket-bingo-one-piece-in-red